THE day.

My calf hurts, my head hurts, my feet still hurt and my heart hurts a little less than last night.

Songs are stuck in my head and incredible guitar solo's take over my heart every second when I start thinking of something else than yesterday evening. The amount of greatness in just one concert is not normal. It should be illegal to have the talent to make a night for so many people so perfect.

You look forward to something for over a long time, in my case that'll be four years tomorrow, and then it's over in just 2 hours. Two great hours though. Two amazing hours with my hero. Not just him and me but also a great, huge, crowd. I felt it. I felt that we all were there for the same thing. I felt connected to them. And we all went insane when they finally came on stage.. There they were. Four men. Four crazy talented & super nice men. They were the ones we're going to look at for two hours and we were more than alright with that.

Suddenly the Dutch flag appeared and the national Anthem 'Wilhelmus' started. I thought I was gonna die from laughing too hard but I lived on and sang along. So did many other. The grin on Neil's face was absolutely priceless. It all started with Love And Only Love. A song so good it makes me wanna punch a wall because I can't cope with it being so damn good.

Some people were dissapointed when Neil didn't play Ramada Inn as long as expected but I think he sure as hell made it up by making Fuckin Up extra long & funny. It was absolutely hilarious. And as always, Hey Hey, My My, reminded us of why it's such a great song and why it's one of a few a lot of people on this world know. Goosebumps, for the fifth time that night.

The band went off stage because it was 'the end'. Of course everyone kept cheering and yelling. After a little while Neil came back on and started playing Like A Hurricane. I don't remember if the crowd went insane because it felt like I was on another planet. I think they went insane, they must've gone insane. I don't have many words for it because it was so damn good. The ground shook. I felt so alive it almost hurted, yet I felt like I was on another planet, another life. A perfect life where there were awesome people I was surrounded by and there was only good music. I woke up when Like A Hurricane ended. 
On the previous setlist I read that Like A Hurricane was the final song so I got waken up pretty rudely by the thought of that. Neil took off his guitar strap but when someone wanted to take the guitar away he quickly put the strap back on and started to talk to us. I don't remember exactly what he said but he got me all emotional and thinking this was the last time I was going to see him. So I cried. I cried. God I felt lame about crying but I couldn't help it. So.. Roll Another Number came to an end and the guys lined up and waved at us. Ralph Molina started getting tears in his eyes and when I saw that I couldn't help but cry again. Luckily an unexpected smile made me feel a lot better. Although I still felt like I was never gonna see that smile in person again.
There I was, in the car on my way home. Everyone was asking me how it was and I couldn't help but get a little angry because of course it was so amazing. Of course it wasn't a let down. But I get why people ask me that. I'm glad at least a few of them still have interest in me. 
I hope I can see my hero again someday. 

p.s: You're a fuck up.
p.p.s: Neil Young can never die. 

Neil snel doei hop stop

Mijn benen doen pijn, mijn hoofd doet pijn en mijn hart doet pijn. Toch schrijf ik dit omdat jullie allemaal willen weten hoe het was. Geweldig natuurlijk.

Vanaf de eerste seconde tot de laatste was alles perfect. Behalve de wiet-rokende Amerikaan voor me die gewoon zijn jointje op stak tijdens het optreden. Neil is een held, de beste in wat hij ook maar kan. Het klinkt stom en corny maar ik hou van hem. Ik hou van die man. Niet als in fuck me show me ur dick maar als in hij is mijn held, degene die me inspireert en motiveert. Degene die me na laat denken over dingen waar ik nooit over na dacht, degene die mijn mening over dingen kan veranderen en degene waarvan ik ieder woord zou geloven als hij mij toe zou spreken.

Mijn benen doen pijn van het staan en mijn hoofd doet pijn van de lange dag met weinig eten maar mijn hart doet pijn omdat het niet altijd zo perfect kan zijn als vanavond. Ik mag met recht zeggen dat dit (tot nu toe) de beste avond uit mijn leven is. Ik wil niet dat dit de laatste keer was dat ik Neil zou zien. Ik wil niet naar bed. Ik wil niks. Ik wil even helemaal niks. Ik wil huilen van blijdschap maar ook uit angst dat ik mijn grote held misschien nooit meer live zou zien.

Mijn oren suizen en mijn hart gaat tekeer. Enerzijds ben ik de gelukkigste persoon op aarde maar anderzijds doet het pijn dat alles zo in 2 uur en 15 minuten weg is. Alles waar ik naar uit heb gekeken, misschien wel voor de laatste keer. Dit concert is nu al een geweldige herinnering & die zal nog lang in mij voort leven.

Wat betreft nummers vond ik vooral Cinnamon Girl, Fucking Up, Heart Of Gold & Hey Hey, My My heel bijzonder. Neil kortte Ramada Inn in (stop) maar ging bijna dubbel zo lang door met Fucking Up door te roepen "You're a fuck up!". En natuurlijk was daar de enige echte geweldige encore die iedereen harder liet schreeuwen en raarder deed dansen; Like A Hurricane. Toen die over was, kwam iemand Neil zijn gitaar weg halen.. Maar nope... Neil gooide de strap weer om en sprak ons toe. Op dat moment kon ik mijn tranen niet meer inhouden. Zo stom. Toen zette hij Roll Another Number in.. Nog geen vijf minuten later namen we afscheid. 

Hij heeft naar me gelachen en me opgemerkt. "Natuurlijk, dat doet hij bij velen". Nou en, nou en. Het voelde speciaal voor mij. Toen hij zonder woorden vroeg of iedereen wilde juichen kon ik dat niet, ik stond aan de grond genageld. Neil had mij net recht in mijn ogen aangekeken en ik deed mijn best om zo niet-scheel mogelijk terug te kijken.

Mijn schoenen plakken, mijn tas ruikt naar het bier maar wat ben ik een onwijs mooie herinnering rijker. Oja, laten we mijn mooie nieuwe t-shirt niet vergeten. 

stop it

In Holland it's the 5th of June so guess what that means

I AM SEEING NEIL YOUNG TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's so awesome I can hardly behave and have to stop myself from crying. I'm so excited and I'm watching all these youtube videos that make me emotional because they make me realize what a good man he is, time & time again. It really bothers me no one here (except for my fam & 1 friend) understands how important this is for me and how much he means to me. I want to tell things about him and I want them to listen BUT NOPE no one cares. It's really frustrating 'cause I WANT TO YELL HOW EXCITED I AM AND HOW GREAT HE IS BUT NO ONE IS LISTENING

EXCEPT
FOR
THE
INTERNETS

thank you mr. internet for making internet I just forgot your name and I don't wanna google it right now.

I wanted to go to bed early so it'd be wednesday earlier but in stead I decided to youtube Neil Young vids all evening....... My dad & I are leaving early tomorrow because we need to be front row no matter what. He means the world to us and I'm really glad I have my dad to share all my happiness with.

I'M REALLY EXCITED I BET I DIDN'T TELL YOU THAT YET
I BET YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THAT
I'M VERY SORRY



NOPE
I'M NOT
GOODBYE
FOR NOW

Look at everything in close-up as often as you can

In photography class we have three assignments. 

• Location shoot
• My club (people you have something incommon with)
• Music (studio assignment)

Today I decided to do the location shoot. I was quite nervous because in this country on this world you never know what the weather will be like two days from now. It could be sunny now but there could be snow when you wake up. I prepared quite well, went looking for some locations (on google maps, don't judge me). Then I thought of one I drove by a couple of times. It was a bar but it got closed down a couple of years ago because of a shooting (from what I've heard) and drugs. I also bought animal masks because I like the combination of people in fancy dresses or suits with animal hats.

So here's a little preview of the shoot. I have to have 5 photos in the end, I want to be picky.

I didn't want to tell a story with this, I just wanted to do a shoot like this. But that won't be good enough for my teacher so now I'm going to have to come up with some bullshit story. Luckily I'm good at that. I enjoyed shooting it with my younger sister, Claudia (that's my dress btw) & one of my friends Tim! The sun witnessed the entire shoot and I was feeling quite lucky about that since I've only seen rain the past couple of weeks.

Yesterday I couldn't cope with all my feelings. I had so many I had almost gone numb. I was very excited for the shoot but also nervous because of the weather. But I was also nervous because I'm seeing Neil Young in a few days and I've been looking forward to that for so long. It's finally almost happening now!! The only sad thing is that it will be over in a few days also. Might be the last time I'm seeing Neil Young, ever. NO MICHELLE don't think negative thoughts.. (yes I did just talk to myself don't judge me. stop)

And next week my grandfather has surgery which may be quite risky. So we hope it's going to go well! And then I'll be spending four days away from home for Pinkpop with two of my great friends Sanne & Tessa.

Queens of the STONE AGYDUSUFFHUIHUISDUFcalmyotitsQOTSAUKJNIUHSDUIFH

I don't know what time it was, I don't wear a watch.

As most of you know (and if you don't; shame on you. Your parents are very dissapointed.) Queens of the Stone Age's album ...Like Clockwork came out in the Netherlands today. It leaked about 2 weeks ago but I decided not to listen to it because QotSA was really excited about the album and they dropped little & big hints all the time. I loved their hints and the parts of the songs I had already heard so why listen to the leaked album when there was more hints to come? I didn't want to know how it all sounded until QotSA wanted me to, that day was today. Although I have no money to buy the album (I have to eat & drink @ pinkpop I'm sorry for willing to survive) I can judge how it sounds by the live performance they gave at The Wiltern last week. At first I didn't want to listen because I wanted to keep the live version a surprise for myself. I wanted to be surprised at Pinkpop but since everyone got their albums today I figured I'd listen to the entire perfomance anyway since I'd be blown away eitherway at Pinkpop.

When a part of Kalopsia came out I was overly excited because I could tell (by the title yes) that it was going to be my favorite song and tbh it didn't dissapoint me at all and I knew I was right by saying it was going to be my favorite song. When I first heard 'If I had a taill' I fell in love. Really hard. I think that Keep Your Eyes Peeled really grew on me (not as some type of body hair but err you knoww this is really gross no don't think these thoughts don't visualize please it's for your own good). At first I didn't like it as much as I liked the other songs I'd already heard. I love the lyrics and how it all came together because it really sounds really really good together (help i still got that image in my head make it stop).

 I also really love I Appear Missing because it's just really fucking awesome and I should not even explain why because if you don't love it something is really fucking wrong with you you messed up piece of sh. Let's now talk about My God Is The Sun, the first song we alllllll heard. When they played it for the first time it felt perfect. It was a masterpiece and it really had me looking forward to more songs (which we didn't get until a few weeks after). Shortly after QotSA played If I Had A Tail & I Sat By The Ocean. I Sat By The Ocean is a great song. A really, really great song. The first time I heard it I didn't really like it but later I found out that it was only because they played If I Had A Tail after I Sat By The Ocean. I Sat By The Ocean has great lyrics, just like all songs have actually. Lets just say Josh Homme is a lyrical magician.

When I Saw QotSA at De Wereld Draait Door they played If I Had A Tail bfore the show and I made me wanna dance. I didn't because me & dancing is a recipe for disaster so I stayed in my seat and behaved. During the show they played a bit of My God Is The Sun and at the end the entire band looked at their 'watch'. Lots of people thought it was because they could only play for a minute and a half but it was because of the album title, ...Like Clockwork. I still peed my pants laughing at that first suggestion though. I also met them that day, not for long because they had to go but hey I loved seeing them anyway.

So today I listen to that live performance at The Wiltern for the first time which means I heard some songs for the first time. I didn't hear Fairweather Friends though. Everyone says it's a great song. I have no doubt whatsoever. Like I said before, Kalopsia was my favorite song but Vampyre Of Time & Memory made me doubt that. Jesus fucking christ, I was blown away by it. And I also like the title.   I have a thing for titles and if I could marry some of this album I would. But Smooth Sailing made me wanna dance. It did. So now I can officially dance to If I Had A Tail & Smooth Sailing. I like it. It has a good sound, a great sound. The one I like least is Like Clockwork. I don't know why, I guess that if you compare it to all the others, it just makes you forget the track. Not really forget, but it fades away a bit. I think it's something I didn't expect to be on the album. So it does really keep the album very interesting.

I like the album and I can honestly say it's their best one yet because it just fits together. It's one. Although it's a little darker and more mysterious, it didn't surprise me that Queens of the Stone Age made an album like this. I can't wait to hear all the studio versions but for now, live is good enough. I can also say that, in my opinion, Queens of the Stone Age is the best live band there is. In the entire universe. Of course other bands come pretty close but they are phenomenal. No one can or will top this in the next five years. 

If you want to listen yourself; search for Queens of the Stone Age The Wiltern & you'll be satisfied and not willing to listen to other music for the rest of your life.