Thank santa.

Alright, I admit it has been a while since I wrote a blog.Here's my unpopular opinion on a dumb comment; 3 women, who have been missing for a decade, were found in a house not very far from where they went missing. That's a long time. They were tied up with ropes and chains and every once in a while they were allowed to go outside. They got abused. They were pregnant 6 times, and only 1 baby actually made it out of the womans' belly. One out of 6. Do the math. So I was very relieved to hear this, even though I was a little too young to know about this 10 years ago. I was looking at the CNN website. People can leave comments there and one of the comments that pissed me of was: THANK GOD. PRAISE THE LORD. WHY???????????????????? Thank god for them going missing, being tortured and raped and then finally found 10 years later? If you believe in god you better fucking rethink, with all the shit that has been going on in this world, how can you still be that naive? Amanda Berry and the neighbour are the two heroes in this story. They made it happen, they got everything going. They made it possible for the women to be found, Amanda Berry was one of the women but she went apeshit in the house so the neighbour came to take a look and then he (and later Amanda) called the cops. I don't see any other, so called, god in this story, do you now? if you do; I don't give a shit. Your argument is invalid to me.

Lately I've been measuring

One of the things I hate the most about getting older is that you become more aware of people around you growing older also. I'm talking about my grandparents in particular. Lately I've been noticing time is running out. It sounds plain and rude but that's what it is. I can't say it beautifully because it's not good. I don't like it. It's not beautiful, I can't romanticize this. I can't denie it.

Ever since August '12 things have been going downhill with all my grandparents. I still have 4, I feel very lucky. It's hard to witness it all without being able to do anything for them. If I could trade places with them, I would. These are 4 of the people I love the most. These are the people who taught me what it was like back in the days, these are the people who made it possible to live in the world I live in. Not because they magically created my parents, but because they learned me how to handle certain situations and they've been such good rolemodels. They are my life. I recognize myself in the things they do, I recognize myself in their faces. It may sound weird, but that's an honor to me.

It's weird to think about it. I wish I could know them longer. I've known them for over 21 years now and there's still so much left to discover. I know quite a lot about how they've become the persons they're these days and they have inspired me in many ways. They still inspire me every day and every time I visit them. I think it's really important to keep visiting them. I don't know how much time I have left with them, I don't know how much things I'm going to get to tell them. I don't know, I just don't.

I could never do them justice with all the words I say. There are no words to describe how amazing they are, how much influence they've had on me and everyone around me. I wish you all could meet them because you'd agree with me on everything I just said. I'm certain of that. Of course there've been ups and downs but everyone has that and it's not fair to only judge on that while there's so mnay great things that happened.

And I also hope you have people like this in your life, not necessarily your grandparents, just anyone. It's important to have that person, that is like your rock. Someone that inspires you, gives you good advice and just makes you feel like you. My parents do that, my grandparents do that and the most part of my family does that. I would like to thank them for it but there's no way I can ever explain. I hope you understand though.

My grandparents are the best part about me. I love them, no matter what. I will be there to take care of them when they need it because they've taken care of me when I needed it.

When in doubt

When you're in doubt about something and you ask someone whether you should do something or not, they always say "when in doubt, don't do it". Why the fuck not? Why not take a risk every once in a while? Something could've been amazing and great but you didn't to it because someone who never takes risks told you not to do it in case it fails. So what if it fails? So what? What's to lose if you haven't even tried it yet? What if you actually do it and that something changes your views on certain things. Would've totally been worth the risk but because you didn't take it, you'd never know. Even if it changed your views in a negative way, it still would've been worth the risk because at least you found that out and now you don't have to wonder anymore.

I'm just saying that when in doubt you should never ask for others opinions because they'll never match what you feel deep inside. It's up to you to decide if you wanna take a chance or not.

Let's dance to some fitting music now. Please admit to yourself you love it and don't hate me for this. I know you like it. I can see you dance. Shake what yo momma gave ya. No no no, don't start headbanging. I'm talking about your bootay. Shake it, yes, you. I'm talking to you, Jude Law. what. What. No. Err......

bye

Smile

Even though things are going quite alright, I don't know what's bothering me. Is it that others have high expectations and that I'm afraid I can not live up to them? No, it's fucking not. Because the only expectations I have to live up to, are mine. It'd be a lot better if no one ever expected anything. You'd be surprised all the time and not let down.

I understand teens, maybe it's because I was one just a few years ago. Maybe because I still feel like one. I still feel like I can't make a decision, I still feel useless and I still don't know what I want to do in the future. You have to make these decisions in high school, in the 2nd year of high school. That's too early. It's not normal.

People judge all the people all the time. "You're 21, shouldn't you be working now? Shouldn't you be thinking about getting married already?" no. That was 20 years ago, it was different back then. Obviously you don't know shit about how hard it is to find a normal job.

I can feel the weight of the world resting on my shoulders and it's about to collapse. Why? Because the world is so fucking judgemental and I'm actually going insane over it. I don't live up to other people's expectations because that's total bullshit. Why would I? It won't make me feel better about myself, it will make the people feel better about me. But you know what, I can't satisfy everyone. There's only one person in this entire fucked up world I want to feel good about me; and that is me. It may sound dumb and foolish but I don't give a flying fuck.

It's just the judgement every fucking day. "You should do this, you should do that" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't WANT to do that. I want to do what I want. But if I continue doing that I'll be fucking miserable. Should I just pretend to be someone else, just so I have a good shot at having a normal future? No. I don't think so. I don't think I have to change. I don't think I have to start thinking inside the box, in stead of outside the box. I don't think I need to do anything I don't want to.

I'm already about 400% done with this entire fucking world and I'm only 21 years old. I actually feel sorry for people younger than me. But am I going to leave? No I'm fucking not. I'm going to show everyone I can do it by myself, I don't need your fucking stupid support. Just take one look at how miserable your life is and then talk about mine. I can do it on my own, I know at least 5 people have my back. That's enough. I get joy out of things such as concerts and meeting new awesome people. I like it when people appreciate me for what I do and who I am. I don't care if that's 2 people or 200.

I am here on this world for myself and for people that care about me. I am here to make my life, my life. I am here to live my life my way. I am here to hopefully help you someday, finding your way in life and maybe make you smile every once in a while.

This all may have sounded pretty depressing but I didn't mean it that way. I'm just really glad I have this blog and I can let you read about what I have to say. I hope some things change your views on things. 

Bloggity bligblog

Waddupppppppppppppp, people of the interwebzzzzzzzzz?

Just kidding, I'm not interested in how you feel right now.
Errrrrrr.. Last saturday I went to this radio show which always has bands playing live. This time it was Record Store Day and Seasick Steve was coming. If you don't  know who Seasick Steve is you should feel very ashamed of yourself and your environment. Start youtubing the living shit out of youtube, RIGHT NOW. Even though he only played 5 songs, it was absolutely amazing. He's a really funny & caring man who is devoted to what he does, he's fully aware of the amount of talent he has and he knows how to use it. My mother didn't believe he's 71 already. Seasick Steve is a magician. My dad's colleague has this amazing cigfiddle (little guitar made of cigar boxes) and he asked me and my dad to take it with us so we could get it signed by Seasick Steve for him. So we did! At the end of the show I took the cigfiddle and went looking for the manager, who was very very kind. He asked me if we could wait until Steve had calmed down a bit. After 5 minutes of waiting, we got called in. Sanne, my dad & me met Seasick Steve, his son Paul & his drummer Dan. All very nice & funny people. We got to take a picture with Steve and we shook hands. When we left we were all shaking and still couldn't believe what just happened. So when me & my dad drove home he kept saying 'I never thought this would happen to me, at this age' and stuff like that. It made me feel really good, saturday was a really really good day with lovely people. If you wanna see the pic you can click here ; LE CLICKETY CLICK

I'm going to see Neil Young in just a little over a month. Some of you know how much he means to me. For those who don't know; NEIL YOUNG MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I ALMOST CHOKE IN WHATEVER I'M EATING WHEN I HEAR SOMEONE SAYING HIS NAME ON TV OR WHEREVER. Goosebumps, every fucking time. I'm a little nervous, I need to be front row and see my hero play. I'm this tiny midget thing (well I'm 168 cm, exaggeration) so when I'm too far back I can't see anything. Crazy Horse's guitarist said this might be Neil's last tour ever. I didn't cry, came pretty close to it though. It CAN NOT BE NEIL'S LAST TO EVER. OK UNIVERSE???? YOU LISTENING??? You better fucking be. I'm only 21 years old, I want to spend at least 5 more years looking forward to a new Neil Young show. Let's just hope he does at least one more tour, then I'll  be saving my money and I'm going to see him at least 3 fucking times on the same tour. I need to prepare emotionally because I know that even though he is my hero, he's not gonna live forever with everything he has been through.

The 14th of June, 2013. Guess what's going to happen? PPPPPPPPPPPPINKPOPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! With 2 of the most awesome people on the entire planet; Tessa & Sanne. IT GON BE GOOD MY FRIEND. I'm really excited but also really nervous because AGAIN I need to be front row @ Queens of the Stone Age. They are one hell of an amazing band. I can't even begin to explain how unique and magical they all. I saw them once, in may of 2011. In 'de Effenaar'. IT SUCKED. The band didn't suck. I came there at least 5 hours early, the waiting didn't suck either. You know what sucked? The audience. I can still get a little upset and angry when I think of it, even though it's almost 3 years ago. The audience was just fighting. To me it seemed like they came to fight each other. There was no attention for the band, there was no singing along. I came home with some bruised ribs and bruises on my legs. I was glad I was still alive, actually. But what sucked the most is that QotSA felt it was shit too. They deserve a better audience, they mostly have the greatest audience a band could have. I guess I should let it go now and just see Pinkpop as my first Queens of the Stone Age gig. So I've been excited abo

So this is a little music-update. I hope you enjoyed. And if you didn't; you just wasted your time on reading something you didn't enjoy. HAHAHAHA.

En dan wat?

Tegenwoordig hoor je zo vaak dat er dieren mishandeld worden. Al een hele tijd trouwens maar je ziet het steeds meer op Facebook. Op Facebook zijn het vaker oudere mishandelingen die al opgelost zijn, maar mensen kijken daar niet naar als ze het delen. Zelfde geldt voor als er een persoon vermist is, dan is die misschien allang gevonden tegen de tijd dat jij die foto deelt. Let daar dus op in de toekomst. Maar daar gaat dit mini-blog niet over.

Ik kijk net Hart van Nederland en daar gaat het over de verkrachting van 2 paarden. Bij het ene paard is iets in 't kontgat gestopt en daarmee is er nog een gat gemaakt in het kontgat.. ofzo.. Maar dan komt het nieuwsbericht ten einde en zie je de politie weer een praatje houden; weet u wie de dader is of heeft u tips, meld het dan. En dan? Dan loopt diegene over een paar weken/maanden weer vrij en krijgen we weer van die nare berichten. Ga er godverdomme eens een keer hogere straffen tegenaan gooien. Zo blijven ze bezig.

Je wordt er toch helemaal fucking naar van. Elke keer gebeurd het weer en elke keer loopt de dader (als die gevonden wordt) na een aantal dagen weer vrij. Ik vind dat er voor mishandeling tegen mensen al lage straffen zijn maar voor dierenmishandeling al helemaal. Verder wordt er ook niet veel gedaan om de daders te vinden. Omdat het "maar" een dier is. Wat nou maar een dier? Mensen zijn ook dieren.

DOEI.

IDGAFF

The worst thing about this town is that everyone knows you. Tonight I went grocery shopping with my mom and as usual we bumped into someone we know. This time it was the mother of an old classmate. By old classmate I mean someone I saw last 8 years ago. I hate it when this happens.

The first thing they mostly say to you is "wow you've become very tall and all grown up!" what the fuck did you expect me to be? A fucking midget who looks like a 3 year old? It's probably me but to me it's quite normal that people grow. And I'm not even that tall (168 cm, I don't give a flying fuck about what that is in inches and stuff like that) so don't fucking lie to me. Don't fake the interest 'cause I know you're just curious.

And there comes the next question you know you're going to hate; How is school? Well I don't know how school is since IT'S WEEKEND AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT IN MY WEEKENDS. But then you have to pretend you're interested in their lives as well. That's probably the hardest part about the conversation. "So err.. How's your son doing.. at school.. and.. life.. and stuff?" you can already tell I'm not good at that because if I don't give a fuck you're going to notice that. But she was either blind or deaf because she gave me this large speech about what he's doing and when he's going to be finished and all of that shit. By the time she was done I figured I could've eaten 20 kipnuggets. That's how long she kept on talking.

What would've made it a better conversation was if she would've asked me what music I listen to. Of course those people never do, but it'd be fun 'cause I'd be boring them with my biography of Neil Young, the tracklist of QotSA's new album and lyrics of the Foo Fighters. Life will never be that good.