My biggest fear.

Lots of people that know me know this. You probably don't, you won't guess either (not that I was gonna give you a chance to guess). SO many people have big fears such as dying, house on fire, getting eaten by a crocodile, bitten by a spider..  But not me.

I have this really weird fear of CHICKEN. I mean, the alive ones. The ones that look at you as if you're a delicious meal and the ones that walk like they're going to chop your leg off. Those chicken. The first question people ALWAYS ask is "So you don't eat chicken?" GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. I DO. Chicken nuggets and grilled chicken is probably my favorite food. I don't want to kill chicken or so but I am absolutely terrified of 'em.

I don't know when this fear came. When I was about 2 years old my babysitter took me to the children's-farm and I had to hold the bread. So all these motherfucking chicken came running at me and they were almost bigger than me. I kind of think that was when my fear of chicken started. So thank you dear babysitter, for bringing me to hell before even dying. Years later this happened again. I might have shat my pants but I don't remember that part.

Recently I heard this story about a chicken almost murdering another chicken. He was constantly picking on him like literally PICKING ON HIS FUCKING HEAD and so he almost murdered him. I was about to cry when I heard that. Not because I felt so sorry for the half-dead chicken but because I was afraid this chainsaw-killer-chicken was going to do the same to me. It can lead to cannibalism. WELL. GUESS WHERE I WAS AT THE END OF THIS STORY. Locked up on the toilet. Not because I had to pee but because I was so scared this chicken would sense the little wound on my arm and would come looking for me and pick me to death.

About 6 years ago I went to visit one of my long time friends. We were staying at her moms house but we had to visit her dads house too to take care of the cats. Me and my friend went into the backyard but she didn't tell me her father had chicken. So I was walking in the garden, very peacefully when all of a sudden a chicken appeared. My friend tried to chase him the fuck away BUT THAT BITCH WASN'T PLANNING ON LEAVING and attacked her. She ran through the garden and that chicken chased her while I stood there in a field surrounded by 3 other chicken. When she was inside the chicken came back and joined the other 3. I got so so so so scared. Then her mom walked up with a wooden stick and knocked the damn chicken out so I could be free.

What did we learn from this story? Right, chicken know Karate better than I do.

So you can probably tell my worst nightmare is having to touch a chicken that is alive.

I am looking forward to eating chicken nuggets.