2015

At the end of every year (since I started this blog) I write a little about what happened and how I feel. Sometimes I read it the year after & delete it. But this year I do not have a lot to say.

There were no 12 months this year, no 54 weeks. There were 2 periods. The one in which grandma was alive and the one in which she was no longer with us.

The highs were high but the lows were actually killing me. Are killing me.

I am unable to think of happy things that I really do want to remember. I am unable to put away the sadness and pretend everything is alright. I have not felt alright in a while.

I'd like to think 2016 is gonna treat me better but we all know that's not true. In January, it will still be only 4 months since my grandmother passed away. In february it will still be only 5 months. In march it will still only be 6 months. In april it will still only be 7 months. In may we are gonna go to France and we're gonna set her free. I want her to be free. She always was but she never went far. She always took care of everyone, she took care of them perfectly fine. But it will still be only 8 months.

In 80 years it will still be only 80 years ago.