YOU

The last blog I posted was about a month and a half ago. I wasn't feeling well, I guess you got that. I was pretty clear on that. I noticed that after the blog, more people understood where I was coming from and what I was feeling. It's kinda weird to experience that sort of thing. A lot of people can relate as well, that's part of why I wrote the blog. It made me kind of angry that I had to spell out what was going on before some people could finally understand it. Frustating, I guess that's what it felt like. I hope some of you really got that you should choose your words carefully. I'm someone that says what she thinks too, unless I know someone is feeling a certain way. A lot of times I know what I say because I try to relate. I don't want to kick while they're down. That's what some of you did to me. I also just really want to thank the people who helped me, whether they were sitting right next to me, 3 minutes away or across the ocean.

So I found a job, at least for a couple of months. And I'm really excited. I'm leaving tomorrow. Leaving? Yep. I'm leaving my hometown for a few months. I don't know when I'll be back, maybe next week. Maybe in 2 weeks, maybe 3. I don't know and I kind of like that. People here make it hard to leave though. Going away for a few months made me notice that I have some really special people in this place that I'm gonna miss talking to. Today I went to say goodbye to one of my best friends and her mother and grandparents. They feel like my second family, I've known them for about 20 years now. And I don't think we've been apart for longer than 3 weeks ever. We see each other at least once a week. They have always been really sweet to me and I've always been welcome. I want them to know I'm gonna miss them, even if it's just for a week! You hold a special place in my heart. And you deserve to know that because you are beautiful people. Thank you for your endless support and kind words. You make me feel like I'm worth it and I want you to know that you are too. I don't think I need to say I'm gonna miss my real family, you all know I will. Since I live in quite the small town and I don't make a lot of friends, my family has been there for me forever, ever since I was a little girl to this very day. They ask me to take care of stuff, they kept me busy and I liked that. I'm also very glad I got to help my grandparents for a year and a half because not that many people get to be that close to their grandparents. Some of you haven't even known them. I'm glad I do, because they are the most wonderful people on the entire planet EVER.

So I guess that is all I have to say. I can't bring my laptop because I don't have a charger (yet). But I will try to keep you all updated on how it's going. You know, I'm glad I'm going away for a while. You all know that I felt stuck, like I wasn't going anywhere. Finally I get to write a blog like this. Like I said, I don't know for how long I'm leaving home tomorrow and I might be back for a few days next week but I just feel SO ready to go. As you may have noticed in my previous blogs, I start a lot of sentences with "I" but right now I wanna start a new sentence with another word. YOU have supported me and sometimes cheered me up. YOU helped me and talked me through it. YOU deserve someone like yourself that helps you through bad days. YOU deserve someone like yourself that makes the good times even better. YOU deserve to feel as good about yourself as you made me feel about myself. Of course I wasn't talking to all of you, maybe 20%?! But I guess that's still a lot, if you like 20% of the people you know.